Buying a quality tool or piece of equipment and opening to the first page of the owner’s manual, years ago:
Congratulations on your purchase of the Supercom Deluxe V! This device is the result of years of painstaking design and engineering. The product you now hold in your tremulous and lovely hands will, with care and maintenance, give you decades of trouble-free and efficient use, unto the third and fourth generation.
Buying a quality tool or piece of equipment and opening to the first page of the owner’s manual, today:
WARNING: Read all safety warnings and instructions, including this one. The next nine pages contain dire warnings in bold type, carefully worded so as to completely undermine your confidence in this tool, your ability to use it for even the simplest tasks, and your overall competence at life in general. Failure to follow all warnings and instructions may result in electric fire, shock, abrasion, contusion, dismemberment, laceration, puncture wounds, a permanent state of leg-disabledness, and/or serious injury.